Safe from Yourself

 I just wanted to share something I'm cooking today:

In life we all have the basic need to be seen, soothed, safe, and secure. Most people can say they had parents who tried reasonably well to provide all four of those for us. I want to touch on the matter of being safe for just a moment.

Even with their best efforts, many parents may not have been aware there was one important way to keep us safe:  that is, from ourselves.

Sure, they taught us not to stick anything into an electric outlet or to look both ways before we cross the street, but they couldn't as easily address our basic need to keep ourselves safe from our own thoughts.

I'd encourage you to set some time aside soon, if not today, to review and renovate how you think about yourself. We all are experts at conveying negative messages to ourselves. It takes intention, time, and solitude to reverse the effects of such negativity.

You are lovable and you are loved. You make a difference and you belong. You are a unique expression of the life of Christ, who created, fills, and sustains all things. Be intentional to make the time to retrain your mind and body to undo the unsafe messages you sent yourself. You are safe in the arms of a loving, giving, comforting Father, even if that wasn't your model on Earth, or even of yourself.

Choose Wisely

Scripture would agree that we tend to live as if we were God. We tend to live by our own insight, our own wisdom, our own sense of justice, our own short-sighted desires. We tend to allow passions to overwhelm us.

We are drawn to that which we believe to be good, true, and beauty. We tell ourselves, "This person will make me happy. That job will bail me out. These material possessions will satisfy me."

But, without God's wisdom, we easily go astray, and catastrophe and pain are usually the result. And then we blame God, thinking in our hearts that He is against us and that we will always be "cursed" somehow.

None of this behavior is because we are evil or wicked. We're just very complex beings within any number of complex relationships. We can be like boats tossed around my stormy weather.

David Goa tells us, “We are always deceived around something which appears to be good, or true, or beautiful. And it isn’t. And it’s always death-dealing. It’s always bringing us out of communion, out of reality.”

In all of this, the essence of our being does not change. We are in the image and likeness of God. We were created to reflect His goodness, His truth, and His beauty. When we pay attention to what we pay attention to, we will have taken the first step to choosing wisely.

Finally, Paul prayed for us in Eph. 3: "I pray that he would unveil within you the unlimited riches of his glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with his divine might and explosive power. Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of his love will become the very source and root of your life. Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude  of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions."

We have everything we need for life and godliness. Don't be deceived otherwise by shiny objects around you that aren't the real thing.

Explicit Knowledge (facts) versus Implicit Knowledge (feelings)

Conveying explicit knowledge seems to be nearly always the main point in our relationship with God and others. What do you know? What are the facts? Do you understand what I said? But feelings run deeper in us than facts. So, while facts are important and need to be true, a person's feelings are like an undercurrent: they are the unseen reality about what they really hold to be true in a given situation. While we think that we are acting according to what we believe, in reality we tend to act according to what we feel. We perceive more deeply at an implicit level...in our emotions

It is important that we understand and address implicit knowledge. Healthy and safe relationships strengthen positive implicit knowledge. If someone doesn't feel safe and loved, very few facts (explicit knowledge) you present to them will be transformative for them.

Explicit knowledge informs, but implicit knowledge transforms.

In the following quote the authors are referring to the difference in the effects of explicit versus implicit knowledge between mature (healthy) and less mature (unhealthy) relationships. Mature relationship skills are grounded upon healthy implicit knowledge of oneself and others

"A number of studies have shown a link between people’s experiences of attachment figures and their experiences of God. For example, one study found that people who have more mature relationships in general are more likely to experience God as loving and benevolent. In addition, these researchers found that people with less mature relationships were more likely to experience God as wrathful, controlling, and irrelevant. Another study found similar results but also showed that people who used more mature defenses, or ways of coping with psychological pain, were more likely to experience God as loving. Likewise, those who used less mature defenses were more likely to experience God as wrathful.

Spiritual mentors in our lives, who function as a type of authority figure, also influence our implicit knowledge or representations of God."*

Why is this important? Because what we feel about God and ourselves is usually more important and more deeply rooted than what we know. If you want to transform your relationship with yourself, God, and others, find out why you feel the way you do. Allow the feelings to express themselves. We should also seek to understand (and experience) the feelings of another. If those feelings are negative and unsafe, take time to become aware and instead allow for a healthy transformation to occur through compassion and patience. Your faith and life will be enriched beyond what you've known to be possible.

*Todd W. Hall and Miriam Elizabeth Lewis Hall, Relational Spirituality A Psychological-Theological Paradigm for Transformation, InterVarsity Press, 2021, p. 126