The ultimate damage done to us and others as a result of giving into our "negative desires and emotions", often which grow into addiction, is in our ability to love. This condition of which the author speaks manifests as a selfish desire to meet needs which can only be met by God Himself. It causes the person to live a dual life. When that alternate life of negative desires and emotions fulfilled through behaviors inconsistent with wholeness and wisdom plays out, friends and loved ones are wounded, often so much so that recovery takes years. I know personally both sides of this issue. I have hurt others and I have been hurt by those who have hidden their behaviors from me--living a secret life, usually in contrast to what I had thought was a healthy friendship. Wounds of betrayal run deep.
The root of addiction is essentially an absence of fathering. This root of pain manifests as selfishness and selfish behavior. It causes the person to not only devalue others (seeing people only as objects to fulfill selfish desires such as sex, pride, or power), but the person also devalues him- or herself. Using someone to meet one of these selfish needs is the worse thing one person can do to another. In the case of "casual sex", we must face the truth that one does not have sex with a body--one has sex with a soul. Sex is more than just physical. It is for this reason that an abuse such as rape does such harm to a person.
The addict who indulges in their addiction lives so far below who they are and who they are (in Christ). They have devalued themselves in the same way a king or queen devalues themselves by throwing off their royal robes and dressing as a peasant. Only when the love of the Father is understood and embraced does the person realize who they are and that every need has already been met. They become a whole person who, because they have fully received, can freely pour out. Therefore, someone who exists in the love of the Father maintains a stable identity and truly has no needs.
On a personal note, I would ask those reading this to consider in their own lives where they have sought fulfillment of needs in any source other than God. Most of Christianity views the relationship of person to Christ as one of duty. Move past that and know His love.
I hope that you will also consider approaching those you've wounded because of your selfish desires as you come to understand what I've said.
Grace=Peace,
Jeremy
May, Gerald G. Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. San Francisco, CA: HarperOne, 2005. Print. p. 15. The above quote may have been edited for clarity and understanding outside its context.
May, Gerald G. Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. San Francisco, CA: HarperOne, 2005. Print. p. 15. The above quote may have been edited for clarity and understanding outside its context.
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