One of the most powerful quotes I've gleaned from Gerald May's book is this:
"Addiction represents a doomed attempt to assert complete control over our lives."
This quote makes complete sense when May goes on to describe how his own addiction began:
"[In the reaction to my father's death and my disappointment with God], something hurt and angry in me, something deeper than my consciousness, chose to dispense with God. I would take care of myself; I would go it alone. My wanting--my love--had caused me to hurt, and something in me decided not to want so much. I repressed my longing.... I was searching for something that I could use to develop a sense of mastery over my life, something that would help me go it alone."
I've been watching people a lot lately, and I've seen more clearly how addictions arise from the hurts they've experienced. It's sad to say, but for nearly all men, the deepest wounds come from their father. These wounds are inflicted by several things: hurtful words our fathers speak to us; words they never say, such as an affirmation; or, if our fathers were never present, either physically or emotionally, the damage is also real.
May, Gerald G. Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. San Francisco, CA: HarperOne, 2005. Print. p. 5 and Cover. The above quotes may have been edited for clarity and understanding outside their context.
"Addiction represents a doomed attempt to assert complete control over our lives."
This quote makes complete sense when May goes on to describe how his own addiction began:
"[In the reaction to my father's death and my disappointment with God], something hurt and angry in me, something deeper than my consciousness, chose to dispense with God. I would take care of myself; I would go it alone. My wanting--my love--had caused me to hurt, and something in me decided not to want so much. I repressed my longing.... I was searching for something that I could use to develop a sense of mastery over my life, something that would help me go it alone."
I've been watching people a lot lately, and I've seen more clearly how addictions arise from the hurts they've experienced. It's sad to say, but for nearly all men, the deepest wounds come from their father. These wounds are inflicted by several things: hurtful words our fathers speak to us; words they never say, such as an affirmation; or, if our fathers were never present, either physically or emotionally, the damage is also real.
Our fathers teach us about ourselves; they model how we should honor and respect the opposite sex; they instill identity, courage, and resolve. Let's be honest: without our father, we look to either our culture for our definition of acceptable behavior or we look to ourselves, being moved and motivated only by what benefits us. We live selfish lives, hurting others as we try to fulfill a perceived need and hurting ourselves in an on-going manner.
But the saddest part in all of this is when we refuse to deal with our addictions and pain by addressing the root issue. We would rather remain the same: ever dependent on the addiction or habit or activity so we can avoid the original pain and the pain of having that addiction removed. Addiction truly becomes a tool for us to maintain control over our lives as we attempt to find happiness.
I pray that you will have the courage to step away from the addiction in your life, to be willing to experience the suffering of no longer relying on that comfort, and to embrace a heavenly, loving, and perfect Father.
Grace=Peace,
Jeremy
May, Gerald G. Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. San Francisco, CA: HarperOne, 2005. Print. p. 5 and Cover. The above quotes may have been edited for clarity and understanding outside their context.
No comments:
Post a Comment